


Migration, Transformation

by meaghann



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Only a teeny bit of angst, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-11-02 13:08:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20756921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meaghann/pseuds/meaghann
Summary: Castiel needs cheering up so Dean takes Cas on a short, but important, road trip.





	Migration, Transformation

The bunker was chilly with the early fall weather and Dean shivered getting out of bed, hopping around trying to avoid touching the cold floor until he found socks and shoes. Only once he was in layers of t-shirt, plaid shirt and hoodie did he feel warm enough. Coffee warmed his insides as he sat at the kitchen table, but he didn’t feel right. There had been no hunt for a few weeks now, Sam was gone on a research trip and Castiel had been shut up in his room. Dean worried about Cas in his newly human state. He seemed to avoid people and his rare smiles had all but vanished. Dean tapped his fingers on his mug, thinking, and while he was looking around it struck him that he didn’t like the idea of Cas being almost underground all the time. His friend should be outside in the sun, with bees and flowers or something. 

“That’s it, we need to get out of here” he said to the room. Dean got up and put his coffee mug in the sink and went down the hall to Cas’s room and knocked.

“Hey Cas buddy, you in there?”

“Yes Dean, come in.”

The former angel was leaning up against the headboard, a book open on the comforter beside him. For all the jokes about Dean being oblivious and hating emotions, he knew he was a good observer and the man in front of him didn’t look happy. Cas was quiet, his features drawn and his shoulders down. A tiny flare of hurt pierced through Dean at the thought that he and Sam had been a part of causing that hurt. But, he put on a smile and tried for cheerful. 

“You know man, I think we need a road trip, a chance to get some air and get out of here. What do you think?”

Castiel looked up at Dean with apprehension. “Is this a hunt?” 

“No, a day off, a chance to get out do something different. Come on, grab your coat and lets do this.”

“Alright Dean” and Castiel grabbed his jacket and gloves and they went out to the car. Dean had the germ of an idea. Sam was at the University of Kansas ransacking their library and Dean remembered something he had seen the last time he was there; a sign for a butterfly garden that apparently was a resting place for hundreds of species. That was just the place to go. They could stop on the way for a good breakfast, spend some time outside and maybe even have late dinner with Sam before they head back. They could even get a motel room and take in the sights the next day. Once out on the highway, Dean put on some music and looked over to Cas in the passenger seat. He was watching the world go by out the window and his face gave nothing away. Dean was going to have to actually ask about this and he grimaced a bit.

“Uh Cas, you doing okay? You’ve been really quiet the last few days.” 

There was a long silence, long enough that Dean wasn’t sure the other man had heard him, 

“I’m not used to being at loose ends, with no purpose. It uh, it…” Cas was twisting his shirt in his fingers and not looking at Dean, but he blew his breath out in frustration and sat straighter. “I’m frightened Dean. You must be disappointed in me. I can’t even be brave and I was an angel in Heaven’s army.” Dean realized that was the most that Cas had said in days and that Cas was worried about disappointing him was a blow. Had they implied that he couldn’t be afraid?

“What are you afraid of Cas?” asked Dean. He tried to keep any judgement out of the question.

“I am new to being human and being on the earth all the time. I have no, what did Sam call it? Safety net. I just have you and Sam. I’m afraid that if I can’t be a hunter you won’t want me anymore and I have nowhere to go, no friends.” 

One look at the tears in Cas’s eyes and Dean pulled the car over and sat quietly, letting Cas calm down. “Hey, it’s ok man, I swear, I won’t stop being your friend if you’re not a hunter and I won’t ask you to leave ever. You’re family and you matter to us, to me.” 

With no warning, Cas slid over the bench seat and Dean hugged him close. Cas was really crying now, gulping in air and trying to be quiet about it, but Dean kept hugging him and rubbed a hand down his back. “It’s ok Cas, it’s ok. Hey, if you stop crying we can go get cheeseburgers, how does that sound?” 

From Dean’s chest came a small sniffle and Cas wiped his eyes, “I like cheeseburgers very much, Dean.”

“I know, let’s do it then.” Dean smiled as Cas sat up and tried to fix his hair. They got back out on the road and Dean went through his mental list of good burger places and realized there was one about 30 minutes away. 

“There’s a good place not to far away and hey it’s not the first time we’ve had burgers for breakfast right?” said Dean.

“I have no practise with when you eat certain foods” said Cas. He spoke up again after a few minutes of silence in the car.

“Dean, I find emotions hard to handle. I know what they are and what function they serve, but I didn’t realize that they got out of control so easily. Maybe I just need more practise.”

“Listen, Cas, I was raised to suppress almost all my weak emotions like fear and sadness, so taking any advice from me is a bad plan, but you cry if you want to. Laugh, cry, rage, quake in fear, it’s all better if you get it out and maybe tell someone if it gets to be too much. I may be shit at actually expressing emotions sometimes, but I will always listen, ok?” Dean reached over and squeezed Cas’s hand that was lying on the seat between them. He was going to let go, but Cas squeezed back and then didn’t release his grip. Dean shrugged and didn’t examine too hard the part of him that liked holding his friend’s hand.

“Thank you Dean, that means a lot to me.” 

The diner was coming up on the right and Dean took back his hand to turn the Impala into the parking lot and find a space farther away from the cars currently in the lot. They dove into their cheeseburgers and fries and Cas tried orange soda. He took a swallow from the cold bottle, condensation pearling and sliding down the sides and he full on grinned.

“Dean, I like this very much! The bubbles are ticklish in my throat.”

Dean laughed, enjoying cheering up Cas with food. He was so easy to please sometimes and yet was this ancient being with a head stuffed full of knowledge. “That’s great. Sadly it’s loaded with sugar, so it’s hell on your teeth, but it does taste good. We’ll get some for the bunker from a store on the way back.”

“I would like to learn to cook. The television keeps saying that home cooked meals are better. I want to make us a meal.”

“Sure Cas, I can show you some easy meals to make ok? And we can get a couple of cookbooks too.”

“I watched cooking shows with Charlie and it doesn’t look too challenging.”

“Well they make it look easy, but yeah, cooking can be fun” said Dean.

Back out on the road, they made good time to the university and eventually the area them was more and more built up and then apartment buildings gave way to campus housing and they were looking for signs to the Observatory. Dean eventually spotted the side road that led there and when they pulled into the lot, there were far more cars than he expected. They got out and headed over to the observatory dome, where everyone else seemed to be headed. Cas stopped in front of a sign proclaiming the area ‘A Monarch Waystation’

“Dean this area is a resting place for the monarch butterflies that migrate south to Mexico every year. They come from the north, rest here and carry on south. Today and tomorrow are ideal days to see them.” Cas whirled around to stare at Dean in wonder. “How did you know about this Dean?”

“Well to be fair, I didn’t know about the monarchs and their migration. I saw the Butterfly Garden sign last time Sam and I were this way on a hunt. I’m glad we got to come here today though. Let’s head over to the garden” said Dean, but Cas was already moving, threading his way through the crowd and Dean lost him right away. Dean took the time to look around while he watched for Cas and it was a gorgeous spot. Gardens spread all around him, with flowers of every imaginable type. People stood taking pictures everywhere, kids were running between the flower beds and there was the smell of food trucks from somewhere. After about three patches of flower beds, Dean spotted Cas surrounded by kids, and covered in butterflies. Dean moved to where Cas could see him without disturbing the butterflies.

“Hello Dean”

“Hey Cas, making some friends?”

The former angel’s face lit up and Dean saw a smile he had never seen before, a transcendent full face smile that Dean almost cried to witness. 

“These butterflies just started landing on me, Dean, and look around this garden, there are hundreds, just hundreds. The children are enjoying this as well.”

The kids giggled, but they scattered after parents started calling them and it was just Dean and Cas, staring at each other, the sun shining down on them.

“Dean this is the most wonderful gift I have ever received. These little creatures have a long journey ahead of them and they bring such beauty and joy with them. This place is blessed for providing them with sustenance and safety. Thank you for bringing me.”

Dean just blushed and shoved his hands in his jeans pockets. “I wanted to make you feel better Cas. I’m really glad it worked.”

They spent the rest of the afternoon there, with a short break for Cas from the butterflies, to get some food at the food trucks and then the garden was finally closing for the day and Dean almost had to drag Cas out of the garden back to the car.

“We will come back early tomorrow right, Dean? First thing? They open at 9:00 am.”

“Yes Cas, we will be here right at 9:00 am. I promise, coffee in hand.” With that Cas got reluctantly in the car and looked back all the way till the turn onto the roundabout. Dinner with Sam was great, they laughed and ate great steaks at a place that Sam had picked out. Dean found himself watching Cas more and more as the evening went on. He couldn’t seem to help it. Any time Cas smiled at something Dean said, he would count it as a personal victory. Finally they had all eaten and they put down money for the tip and headed out. Cas got into the Impala and before Dean could do the same, Sam pulled him aside.

“Dean, what’s up with you and Cas? You’ve been watching him all night.”

“No idea what you mean Sammy, nothing’s going on.”

“Look man, I’m not doing this tap-dance. Cas is fragile, but he has been looking at you like you’re his everything for a long time now and I think you should go for it. You’re looking at him too and don’t have a problem with it. Have a good night. I’ll see you back at the bunker.” Sam strode off without another word and Dean shook his head in amazement. His brother was such a pain, but he was right. He needed to talk to Cas and tonight. The thought twisted his gut with nerves. He would never say it out loud, but he needed Cas as much as Cas needed him. He couldn’t imagine his life without the nerdy little guy in it. 

“Dean, what is wrong? You have been standing there staring off into space.” Dean turned and Cas was standing right next to his shoulder. He jumped and might have let out an unmanly yelp.

“Christ Cas, you scared the crap out of me, man.” 

“I am sorry Dean, but I was concerned” said Cas, his eyes all squinty and frown in full force.

“Let’s find a bed for the night, ok and then I promise I’ll tell you what’s on my mind” said Dean. It turned out to be pretty easy, with a nice enough looking motel appearing a few blocks from the restaurant. Dean got them a room with two queen beds and they got settled in. Sitting facing Cas on the other bed, Dean’s nerves were threatening to get the better off him, but he drew in a big breath and tried to calm himself. 

“Cas I uh, I don’t think we’ve, I’ve been very good to you over the years. I keep blindly blaming you for things without listening and then we need you and I selfishly drag you back. I know you said we’re your only friends, but seriously man? You could do better. You could get out of this life, make friends, get a place, a girlfriend, I don’t know, a dog maybe? It’s…” Dean’s tirade came to a halt when Castiel leaned over and smacked his hand right over Dean’s mouth and held it firm. Dean was so surprised he didn’t move, just stared at Cas with wide eyes.

“Shut up Dean. Just sit and listen, alright?” Dean nodded, still with Cas’s hand over his mouth. “I have no desire for the things you said. A girlfriend, a dog, these aren’t important to me. There are some things I would like to change. I want to learn, perhaps take a class. Most of all I want to stay with you, however you will have me. If it is only as a friend I will consider that an honour, but if I can be more to you, it will make me very happy. Do you understand?”

Dean nodded again, and Cas removed his hand. They stared across the space between the beds and then Dean leaned further and kissed Cas just like he knew he had always wanted to. 

“Is this ok, Cas?”

“Of course Dean, what took you so long?”

Dean laughed and leaned in for another kiss, long and slow and sweet. “Dean’s patented insecurity, you know me. But, Cas you gotta know, I don’t ever want anyone else. You’re it for me.”

“I know Dean.”

That night they settled for sleeping in the same bed in t-shirts and boxers, just holding each other. Dean lay there with Cas leaning on his chest and he couldn’t get over the feeling holding this being, this person who had been in his life for so long. He could feel his muscles, feel the movement of his chest as he breathed, smell his hair and skin and it was so good, so overwhelming that Dean could feel himself about to cry. He was so lucky to have this, so lucky that Cas wanted him and he vowed to change things. They were going to get Cas signed up for a course or two, maybe something creative and then cooking; Dean could teach Cas to make his chilli or even pie. He drifted off with his mind full of possibilities.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading everyone, this was my first SPN fic. I hope to write more soon and I have a number of ideas brewing.


End file.
